I was given an important piece of peace today.
For a while I have felt very dispassionate about my field of work; feeling like what I do doesn't really add anything of true value to the Kingdom. My husband has said that I lack passion, but today I realized it was more than that. I've worked at much lower paying jobs and felt more satisfaction, but why?
Our reviews are coming up, and we were being encouraged to use our spare time towards taking our career where we want it to go. This begged the question: where do I really want it to go? All I could think of was the fact that I really wanted to work towards the Kingdom, and haven't seen my job as doing anything of the sort. It was divine inspiration that struck me then: the purpose of whatever job I'm in has ALWAYS been to learn to have a servant's heart, and I've been looking to get some higher sense of fulfillment and pride that I shouldn't be. God uses every and any job to his glory, and I've been struggling because I've been expecting something for myself. I've been confused on how to make any sort of impact in the secular environment I work in, and had essentially separated it from my walk. It was easier to have a servant's heart at my old jobs when there were customers to serve face-to-face, but now the people I serve are my co-workers. My serving heart had diminished, and it really shows. The most important thing that God wants to give me from my job is not money but a servant's heart, since that was and is the purest intentions of Christ. Expanding my skills is not to increase my paycheck, but to increase my ability to serve. I can only be a boon to those around me if I act accordingly, and today I feel I have finally have regained a willing, able heart.
A weight has been lifted from me that I barely realized was there. I don't expect to suddenly be perfect at everything, but I certainly feel less like dragging my feet and more attentive. I encourage both Christian's and non-Christians alike to learn how to have a serving heart. It takes time to learn, but it is worth it both for yourself and others.